May 28, 2021

1. And there we have it, the greatest play of the season

Javier Baez, who’s long been called “El Mago”, just had his career play. That’s the one. The wizard has now cast his most famous spell.

Never, in baseball history, has this happened:

It gives you laughter. Goosebumps. Disbelief.

Yes, the first baseman could have stepped on first base, no matter if Contreras touched home already or not, and the inning would’ve been over. Yes, he was dumb. But it wasn’t your garden-variety dumbness. This is Javier Baez we’re talking about, famous for making other teams look dumb, forget how to play, fall under his magic spell:

One of the wildest, most one-of-a-kind plays in baseball history. The one you watch again. And again and again. The one you crank up the music for. And smile, unendingly.

The one you’re waiting for.

This is the one.

2. Ohtani missed his start because of Bay Area traffic

An accident, public transit, a delay, and he’s scratched from the game. Can’t believe no one got a picture of the whole Angels team on the BART train, but isn’t that what internet edit jobs are for?

3. The A’s now have a victory trident

“I ain’t gonna lie, this thing’s about 40 pounds, and it was not cheap.”

4. Supernatural pitch of the night: Blake Treinen

Somebody check this guy’s glove for the “sticky stuff”, and/or evidence of witchcraft:

5. Reactions to the insane Javier Baez play

This one will live on in baseball lore for a long while.

And then finally, maybe the baseball line of the year, from the Pirates radio broadcast — absolutely genius to come up with this on the spot:

“The calliopes can be heard from here to Sewickley.”

6. A ceremonial “first fetch”, in the minor leagues

Total dog day afternoon , down in Corpus Christi, TX:

7. A Blue Jays rookie pitcher debuted and his mom crying in the crowd will make your heart smile

It’s okay to cry in baseball, when your son not only debuted, but dominated on the road at Yankee Stadium:

8. Future Hall of Famers where you wouldn’t expect them

First, CC Sabathia in Central Park playing softball:

And then Big Papi, inside the Green Monster at Fenway, taking a selfie with Ronald Acuña Jr.:

9. Nude dudes are taking over the America’s ballparks

Almost nude. Nude enough to wonder. Nude enough that they want us to notice. Powerful energy from these guys, who roared past ripping the mask off, to ripping everything off:

10. Awful baseball update: Two very bad losing streaks

Arizona has lost eleven in a row. And the Orioles, ten in a row. We’re getting into that time of year when the cream rises to the top — and the bottom goes way down to the bottom.

11. Unexpected hustle of the day: Pujols rumbling into second base

Think again Pujols truthers, who think he’s actually 50 years old and been lying this whole time (an actual conspiracy theory).

The man has wheels. Kinda.

Also on the Dodgers — they’ve won nine out of their last ten, have the second best record in baseball, and Max Muncy is playing the best he’s ever played:

12. If you’re an Always Sunny fan, this broadcaster is your guy

When a guy named Sonny steps on the mound, well, there’s almost a moral imperative to bust out the references.

He did botch the lyric a bit there (it’s “champion of the sun”) — but if you have no idea what any of this means, you’ve got some TV to catch up on:

13. Unexciting but necessary baseball news updates

Because this newsletter can’t just be baseball dogs, selfies and nude dude photos, right?

So Aaron Hicks is out for the year with a torn “sheath”, and in Oakland A’s news — their very out of touch owner wrapped up his wining and dining trip to Las Vegas, where he very well may move the team:

14. Willy Adames hits his first Brewers HR & throws a guy out at home

The most unusual baseball trade in a while, given how early it still is in the season (and how well the Rays were playing) — and now, Adames makes his true first impression with the Wisconsin faithful:

Adames keeps them in the game twice, and then they hit a walk-off to get back to .500 on the year — from another former AL East star:

15. Lastly, the new star you need to know this year: Adolis Garcia

From Cuba. 28 years old. Former Cardinals prospect. Former Yomiuri Giant, playing in Japan. And now, out of nowhere, he’s one of the best hitters in baseball.

He’s tied for the MLB lead in home runs, and last night took one back one at the wall, too. The man is a star:

If you enjoyed this newsletter, you know the drill. Shout it out to your whole neighborhood, at inappropriately loud volumes. Alienate yourself from your family and others, in service of spreading the good word of this publication.

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