May 27, 2022

1. Andrelton Simmons threw one of the slowest pitches you’ll ever see

The Cubs are in bad shape, people.

When you’re losing 20–5 to the Reds and an infielder comes in to lob 42-mph floaters over the plate — things aren’t going too well.

This is baseball at its funniest, ugliest, most un-watchable and yet must-watch contradictory state — the best sport there is.

2. The Yankees handled the Rays in their first matchup of 2022

“Nasty” Nestor Cortes was brilliant on the mound yet again, the Rays were shut out all game until the ninth, and the Yankees continue one of their most dominant early seasons in franchise history.

The full highlights here:

3. These are the Rockies’ new “City Connect” uniforms

Inspired by the state license plate, and these are kind of just okay? The pants are highly questionable.

4. The catch of the day: This dugout police officer

Barehanded plus pine tar makes for a heck of a bat snag.

5. The schedule of tonight’s games and weekend series

With the best matchups highlighted, if you find yourself flipping around on MLB TV or if you have the league package:

6. Miguel Cabrera hit a walk-off for the home crowd

He’s batting exactly .300 this season at age 39, with a cellar-bound team around him yet again — giving Tigers fans one shining light to watch for the rest of the summer.

7. A good listen today: Paul O’Neill on the Rich Eisen Show

8. The Dodgers are the second team to 30 wins

The Yankees got there a few days ago, and now the National League leader joins them — probably the two favorites coming into the season, playing out as you might expect.

9. Matt Carpenter signed with the Yankees

And right away, the beard got shaved off.

Not only that, but he played in last night’s game, almost immediately after being signed (and not yet playing in the majors this year).

10. Vladdy hit a foul-pole dinger off Shohei Ohtani

Always an amazing moment, when two of the greats come face to face — and Vladdy got the edge on him by inches.

The other great highlight from the game was Ohtani simply ushering a base runner aside — as if he were a magician directing traffic onstage:

11. The Red Sox blew out the White Sox in Chicago

Boston’s awful start to the year has suddenly turned around, they’re almost back to .500 now, and last night might’ve been the peak of this whole stretch.

12. And lastly, cricket might be coming to the Oakland Coliseum

Cricket is famously a very long, very slow game, sometimes even three days long (with breaks), but the “T20” version is a shorter, baseball-like variant with more action and quicker pacing.

Might need to start planning a group outing, friends.

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