1. Quote of the day, Aaron Boone: “F*** you!! Bullsh*t!!”

“You didn’t even look at me!” Boone shouts, coming out of the dugout. “You didn’t even f***ing look at me!”

And then, the magic words:

A minute before: eighth inning, the Yankees down 4–1, and a sure two-RBI hit gets turned into an out, and one run called back — with Aaron Judge tagged out at third a split-second before LeMahieu’s foot touched home.

2. There was a fight on the concrete at Dodger Stadium

It didn’t feel right having fans back in baseball until we had our first parking lot body slam, did it?

Of course this happens on the night when the Giants, somehow, have found their way into a tie for first in the NL West standings:

3. Shohei Ohtani had himself a historic night

First player since Babe Ruth did it in 1921 to start a game on the mound while leading the league in home runs:

He got the win, he hit a two-run double, and a bunt hit blooped in the air toward third base. Please don’t get injured again, Ohtani-san. Everyone needs to enjoy this all season:

4. Alex Rodriguez is getting roasted in his Twitter replies

That could probably, to be fair, be a headline every day — but just about everyone was taking the bait:

“Not the first needle in your career, king.”

“Pfizer, Moderna or BALCO?”

5. The old MVP Kris Bryant might be back

He’s batting .289, .993 OPS, 6 HRs. And a grand slam last night to tie the game — with the most joy on his face he’s shown in a long, long while:

6. Bryce Harper hit a ball into another baseball in batting practice

It’s the Randy-Johnson-hits-seagull of unlikely baseballs colliding:

7. Awful call of the day: Elvis Andrus out at the plate

The A’s still won in the end, 2–1, but still — this is bad:

8. Jonathan India (Reds 2B) is essentially wearing shorts

He just has to get rid of the black knee-guard stuff, completely go for it, and go full 1976 Chicago White Sox:

9. It’s the end of the original Dodger Dog era

The “Farmer John” supplier is out, taste testers are in to make a replacement dog, with the Dodgers holding the rights to the name.

And yes, this makes the Newsletter today — who wants baseball highlights when you have stories about the hot dog supply chains at a ballpark?

Here’s the weird part: anyone who’s been to a Dodger game this year, and gotten a Dodger Dog, has already consumed the ersatz Dodger Dog. The switch has been made, it’s only the announcement that came out today.

Here’s the Iron Sheik, railing against the jabroni decision:

10. Rhys Hoskins takes sole possession of the MLB HR lead

A bunch of guys tied with 7 each, and now Hoskins has his 8th — with six home runs in the last six games for the Phillies:

Putting up great numbers, for a remarkably .500 team:

11. Dansby Swanson burns sage before the game, hits a HR to take the lead

The Kyrie Irving school of game prep has entered the major leagues:

You burn the sage, you wait, hours later you’re at the plate, just after the Kris Bryant HR, and you hit a solo shot and the Braves take the lead back for good:

12. Mookie Betts gets a massive lead at third

Maybe that’s what that fight in the parking lot was about:

“If he went for it, he would’ve scored!”

“No, the analytics say he shouldn’t steal.”

“F*** analytics!”

*Body gets smashed into the pavement*

13. Rockies GM Jeff Bridich steps down

He was their GM since 2014, in the organization since 2004. And the Rockies, so far this year, are 8–13, with a good chance to have the worst record in baseball, four consecutive losing seasons.

14. There was a weird mound-visit blunder in Cleveland

Even a year later, not everyone manages to remember the new mound visit rules. Happened to Gabe Kapler last year too, at least once.

Berrios had to come out of the game, because it slipped their mind that they’d visited the mound twice in the same inning:

15. Stat of the day: Mike Trout

If he retired today, he’s be a first-ballot Hall of Famer. Only 29 years old, and he’s already at 75.7 WAR. Unreal.

16. Lastly, the Ohio University bullpen knows how to party

Should bring a smile to your Tuesday afternoon:

“You got to pump it up!
Don’t you know? Pump it up!”

If you’ve enjoyed these newsletters, please consider contributing to the Patreon. And a big thank you to the 33 patrons who’ve joined so far. And in any case, I very much hope you enjoy reading! 🙏

The best of baseball, in case you missed it